How are you?

Do you know that on a typical day, you get asked “how are you?” or “how are you doing?” 4d6+3 times?  My data shows that 98% of people respond with “pretty good” or “not bad”.  These are the people on earth that are not living life to the fullest.  My default response, is usually “horrible”.  Once said, you get a variety of reactions from total silence to declarations that they have never heard anyone answer that way. 

My favorite group of people to do this to is unsolicited telemarketers as they often are reading from a script.  Most of the time the conversation goes like this:  

Rep: "Hello sir, how are you"

Me: "Awful."

Rep: "That is good to hear.  I am calling today..."

Me: "Why is it good that I am awful?" 

Rep: "Huh?" 

Me: "I told you that I am awful and you think it is a good thing."

Rep: "Ah, that is not what I meant."

Me: "Why ask me how I am doing if you are not even interested?" 

The conversation can continue in this manner for as long as you like. 

Moral: Treat every social encounter you have with someone as an opportunity to entertain either them or yourself.  Life on Earth is so short, don’t waste a single encounter.